The Dark Side of Dating Apps: Dangers, Drifts, and Safeguards
Welcome to “MythBusters from Hell”!
Today, we’re diving into a terrifying modern phenomenon: online predators.
When monsters match faster than their own shadow.
— “So, Jamie, what actually happens when you download a dating app?”
— “Well, Adam, you open a spatio-emotional rift that releases the Tindernator — a 666-year-old creature, unstable, lonely, and addicted to Instagram filters.”
He’s starving, able to like ten profiles per second without blinking.
Between creeps on the prowl, pastis-fueled sex addicts, and professional trophy collectors…
Flirting 2.0 is like Amazon addiction: cheap, you browse, you buy, you toss.
Beware if you log in at the stroke of midnight: that’s when his profile rises from the digital abyss to freeze your screen, capture your attention, your soul… and, incidentally, your self-esteem.
In his picture, everything looks perfect: golden beach, big toothy smile, cute sandcastle, a crab and a starfish as emotional-support animals.
He sells you sunshine when in reality, he prowls through the sewers of infinite scrolling.
Lonely hearts become swipe fodder, and Cupid no longer really has a job… maybe a couple of underpaid temp missions at best.
Slipping between digital nomads in Bali and BMW entrepreneurs in Saint-Trop, he’s always ready to bite.
You know the expression “the crotch has no eyes”? Well, he does, several, all of them scanning for the next prey, adapting as fast as users create and delete accounts.
Your back, reject, and like buttons won’t respond anymore once he starts haunting your screen.
You’ll only have two options left:
You’ll only have two options left: “Guess I’ll burn in hell,” or “Oh… married guy again, fine, I’ll deal with it.” (Yes, the “middle finger” button is wearing a wedding ring — not a bug.)
Your only warning sign is this: listen closely.
When he goes hunting, you can hear him singing in the distance:
Who’s got the perfect pic to show?
Who can outsmart the great algorithmic flow?
If you’re craving some heat,
Just let Tinder take the lead.
Trust me, if you’re after a quick little fix,
Dating apps are your number-one pick.
Swipe carefully, little digital heart. 
And as a parent, beware of online games too: the Tindernator can multiply and creep into anything.
Think about parental controls, and keep an eye on the phone habits of people around you;